she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize
