that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
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