If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
Randomize
