Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize
