I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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