singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
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