Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Randomize
