we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
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