eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
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