After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
Randomize
