She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Randomize
