This is not my ceiling
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
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