whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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