i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Randomize
