Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
Randomize