I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
