I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
They took my balls.
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
Randomize
