some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
Randomize
