so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
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