Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
Randomize
