i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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