they need to just BURY HIM!
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
Randomize
