Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
Randomize
