sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
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