your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
Randomize
