I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
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