We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
I woke up under a house in Key West
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
