If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
well, you know. whores of a feather.
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