I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
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