Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Randomize
