Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
we should paint friendship bongs
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