Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Randomize
