did you get engaged???
i jhust puked up my retainher.
There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
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