I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
Randomize
