You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
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