all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Randomize
