my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
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