North Korea, Best Korea!
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
I just blew my weed a kiss
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
Randomize
