Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
Enjoy the penises
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
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