what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
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