I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
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