So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
