She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
