I wish my penis had an off switch
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
Randomize
