So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
