Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Randomize
