That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
they call him Oral-B. enough said
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize
