Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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