I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
if only i could text you this smell
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
i dont even know how to be here
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
Randomize
