Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
Randomize
