i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
He? As in you personified your dick?
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
