: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
Randomize
