I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize