This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Randomize