Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
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