Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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