i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
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