oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Randomize