evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
Randomize
