i don't like sucking hair
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
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