dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
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