At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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