I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
