Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
What drink are we having for lunch?
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Randomize
