If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
