I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
